Rick’s Blog

  • A Message For My Grandchildren

    My Grandchildren Face A World Even Worse Than the One I experienced in the ’60’s!!

    Because several of you said you missed it, this is a repeat of my recent Facebook post.

    A message for my grandchildren:

    Before long you will become a teenager. It will seem at times that your mother and father are the dumbest people on earth. You will grow frustrated with them and their decisions affecting you. Please, believe your granddad when I tell you they are not dumb. They are trying to make the best decisions they can for you. You may not understand or agree, but they DO have your best well-being in their hearts.

    No, they are not perfect. They are only human. They are parents desperately wanting you to grow into adulthood without dying in an automobile accident or becoming an immoral sociopath. They do not want you to be greedy, self-centered or any of those things to which the human condition often succumbs. And the funny thing is that in a few years you will look back and think, “They weren’t so stupid after all.”

    Please let me share with you the truths my two-thirds of a century-plus years have given me. First and foremost: give your heart to a higher being, take time to meditate and pray. Study the history of mankind. Actually, I am jumping ahead. Hopefully, you will—you must—do these two things during your teenage years. Right now, I want you to pick your friends very carefully. Misguided friends and peer pressure have led many a young soul down the path of damnation. When someone belittles you for not participating in his or her—you fill in the blank—theft, lie, gossip, use of drugs, bullying the little guy, whatever—belittle that person in turn for being weak and self-centered. YOU be the leader.

    I may not be here on earth with you during these years, but I will be watching after you. Always conduct yourself both privately and publicly with this in mind. And keep these additional things in mind:

    Being RIGHT doesn’t necessarily matter in all circumstances. This means that even when you know you are right, there are times when silence is the better option.

    Listen twice as much as you talk. You will learn nothing if you are not a good listener. And really do listen to the other person. Ask questions. Try to understand alternative viewpoints.

    Always look outward, not inward. When you are self-centered, your life is important only to you, but when it is about others your life becomes important to many.

    Strive to do your best, not to be perfect.

    Cultivate good manners and social graces. Cretins are a dime a dozen.

    Don’t argue or make excuses. Excuses are the feather beds of failure.

    Be genuinely humble. No one likes an over-blown ego.

    Be organized and on-time.

    Be kind to ALL people—even those who do not deserve it.

    You cannot fix everything and everyone. Do what you can then move on.

    Your word and your integrity are everything. Live by this.

    Always remember that life is not fair. Even when you do everything right, you will experience undeserved behavior from those around you. Just keep in mind the sign my old pediatrician, Doctor Clifton Woolley, had on his office wall: ILLEGITIMI NON CARBORUNDUM “operor retineo non forensic liberi attero vos.” Your great-grandmother said it meant, “Don’t let the bastards get you down.” There was also a photo of him fresh out of medical school standing beside a C-47 aircraft with full combat medical gear and wearing a parachute. He was a highly decorated paratrooper during World War II and the reason I too volunteered for the airborne and became a paratrooper. This is to say, “Choose your role models wisely and they will take you to new heights (pun intended).”

    Lastly, stop and look around each and every day. Live in the moment. Live life, love people, and remember that love is not what you say but what you DO.

    I say these things with the knowledge that every window in my glass house was broken years ago. My hope for you is that these words will help you avoid the mistakes I have made.

    Your Loving Grandfather,

    Rick DeStefanis

    You may also enjoy: Political Correctness and Manners and Memories for Those Who Gave it All

  • Were The Election Results a Failure for The Age of Reason?

    … Or What the Hell Just Happened?

    The collage of young man and woman face expressions

    There is one primary reason the media, the pollsters, even the conservative pundits got it wrong on Election Day. One can listen to any media source and hear a litany of probable causes for the big surprise, even some which are grounded in an element of truth. However, there is one reason none of them have mentioned. It is the reason people woke up the morning after Election Day totally surprised by a Donald Trump presidency.

    This is not an exculpatory defense for Mr. Trump, nor is it one for his opponent or the press. Admittedly, the conservative candidate’s very personae lent itself to much of the hysteria, but probably only marginally more so than his opponent’s own extensive resume of controversies and blatant corruption. I will defend neither. This is a statement instead on the pathos of ignorance that surrounds those who have no clue as to the real reason they were totally blindsided by the election results. First, let’s look at some facts.

    After the elections of Presidents Clinton and Obama, middle-Americans did not take to the streets protesting and rioting. Did you see a single Democrat or liberal voter targeted and beaten? I think not. Rather, in those elections voters who supported the losing candidates accepted, begrudgingly perhaps, but silently, the will of the majority. They accepted that our constitutional republic is one of laws to which they would adhere. So, what happened?

    It was an inevitable response by the Silent Majority to those with whom they differ, one of silence. It is one that has become magnified more so in the last decade for two reasons. The first cause is that great Orwellian lie owned and promoted predominately within liberal and academic circles: political correctness. Failure to resign one’s self to its coercive precepts is to be subjected to vitriolic and abusive verbal accusations and attacks, and in many instances, loss of job, business or other punitive measures. Political Correctness has proven a convenient way to stifle free expression and shut down those who might offer alternative view-points. Join the group-think of this growing ideology or be damned. It is one of the first steps toward controlling the masses and the first reason the Silent-Majority has become more so in the last decade.

    silhouette of command or angry boy on white background

    The second reason middle-America has grown more silent is one created by a vociferous verbal onslaught and beat-down for those who dare voice a conservative-based opinion. This is a product of a press, predominately television and on-line, that has chosen ideology over objectivity. The press is no longer an entity that guards public ethics, nor is it a government watchdog. Rather it has become an ideological zealot willing to deliver the lives of Americans unto governmental control and support the devil himself if it serves their interests.

    Dare a member of the middle-American silent majority voice a counterpoint to this ideology he or she becomes characterized as racist, bigoted, xenophobic, homophobic—fill in your own blank here. Elitist press, politicians, members of academia and pundits refer to those in “fly-over” land as rural voters, non-college educated voters and a list of code-names they would gladly, if it were not for their political correctness, replace with redneck, coal miner, deplorable, farmer, truck driver, uncle tom, ignorant Southerner, moronic Midwesterner, old white people—again, choose your own. There are many more.

    Yes, the silent majority in middle-America has taken to the words of Theodore Roosevelt. They speak softly (or not at all) and carry a big stick (their votes). The surprise outcome of this election was the direct result of a total stifling of civil discourse and the disenfranchisement of middle-America.

    You may also enjoy: Political Correctness and Manners

  • Surviving Morning Television

    Down With TV Screamers!!

    I actually got up this morning, fixed coffee for myself and my wife then sat in my chair at the kitchen table. A normal part of this ritual is to turn on the TV and listen to the morning news, but I didn’t—not today, and maybe not tomorrow. No, I won’t humor you by saying “never again, but it was nice—nice to sit in blissful silence—no car salesmen screaming across their car lots about how “everything must go,” no politicians whining about how their right to screw the public is being infringed upon, no crime reports and body-counts from the big cities, no screaming idiots with British accents trying to sell me the latest oxy-gadget—just blissful silence.

    Zero the cat peering through the kitchen window
    Zero the cat peering through the kitchen window

    I drank my coffee, and we talked about the cat in the window, the birds out on the feeder, the weather, anything we wanted, but there were no screamers and no “idiot box” interrupting our conversation. It was an almost euphoric experience. This morning I had conversations with my wife, God, the cat, the dog—hell, I even talked to myself some. The entire planet may come unhinged in the next few hours, but I won’t know it, because I’m going to meditate and rest my few remaining brain cells away from the cacophony of screamers. No doubt, ignorance is indeed true bliss—at least in the short run. And for the rest of the day I’m going to enjoy it. I’m going to blissfully relax, work on my latest novel, feed the pets, anything but think about the outside world.

     A House Finch in the back yard.
    A House Finch in the back yard.

    As for this evening, well, I reckon ‘Maverick’ will re-engage. I’ll return to the fray. As a matter of fact, I’m going to start a list. I’m going to write down the company name, organization or cause that each and every screamer represents, and when it is time to buy, vote or whatever, I’m going to avoid them. They—their company, organization, whatever—will become my last choice, my last resort after I’ve visited all other possibilities. I believe we should start a movement, ban together and keep our lists without naming the offenders publicly, because that is the goal of their screaming campaigns—to draw our attention, no matter how caustic their method, so that their names become embedded in our minds. I say, “Let’s help them out.” Write down their names, and when you go to shop for a car or new furniture, or to vote or whatever, make a point of avoiding them. I’m giving my nod to the ones who respect my peace and quiet, speak softly and never ruin my morning coffee.

    What do you think?

    You may also enjoy: Boomerang and The Vietnam Experience, Domestic Life & More