Kill a Cow–Save the Planet!

I try to focus my posts on odds and ends, entertaining asides, stuff about writing, positive things, whatever, but seldom do I delve into politics. This will be a first for my Author’s blog right here at www.rickdestefanis.com. With this post, I’m stepping off into some deep stuff all the way up to my eyeballs. Normally, I avoid arguing with the irrational. Afterall, who’s the bigger fool—the fool or he who argues with a fool? My hand is up. Ooogh, ooogh, pick me, teacher!

This is my Alamo! I am standing my ground! I will no longer remain silent. So, here it is, my rant on the elite experts (and I use that term with great sarcasm) who would have us eat bugs and such, so that we might stop climate change by eliminating herds of farting cattle—excuse me, I mean cattle emitting greenhouse gases.

Let’s start with NYC Mayor Eric Adams who told New Yorkers they should eliminate meat and dairy products from their diets to save the planet. Now, we know Mayor Eric isn’t the sharpest tool in the shed, but like some powerful liberal leaders, you don’t have to be the sharpest tool if you’re the biggest hoe. Never mind. Strike that from the record. Mayor Eric ain’t no hoe. Besides, it’s tacky. Oh, but I digress. Back to the rant at hand.

Some idiot Harvard professor basically said the same thing when he said our domestic cattle herds, dairy herds, and other such groups of four-legged grass-munchers are contributing significantly to greenhouse emissions, insinuating that they must be regulated. Yes, another governmental buracracy is in the works, the CFC–the cow farting commision. I can no longer remian silent, and therefore must challenge this Harvard half-wit with my argument.

You see, I’m from the South, and I have three vices, blondes, bourbon, and fried chicken. The first two are discussions for another time. I’m going to focus on the fried chicken—the mountaintop of southern cuisine. Okay, maybe one of them. It’s sort of like the Tetons in the Rockies. You know–like Mount Barbeque, or Mount Ribeye, but fried chicken is like Grand Teton. But wait! Do chickens fart? Never mind. I’m being tacky again. Strike that from the record. But remember, mess with our fried chicken at your own risk.

Let’s look at it from a more logical standpoint. What about hundreds of thousands of Wildebeests and such roaming the African Serengeti? Should we kill them all? What about the same numbers of caribou and reindeer roaming the Artic? Start killing those reindeer, and God help us if one of ’em is named Rudolph—just sayin’. And think about the elephant and water buffalo herds in Africa and India? If such expert logic is accepted, the disappearance of thousands of elk and bison that once roamed the eastern US should have resulted in an ice age of sorts—right? Just sayin’. I mean the argument is based on a Fauchi-like science that invites such counter-reasoning until I can’t help myself. Are we being greenhouse gas-lighted?

If only we could have the support of the thousands who derive their living from those domestic herds–might we succeed? Perhaps. Depends on how the woke folks deal with them. Maybe, it’ll be a commission on the insurrection of the steak eaters. They’ll hold a congressional investigation and enlist the DOJ to begin issuing warrants. Heck, they might even conjure up an excutive order for businesses to begin serving stemcell steaks made with 3-D printers, I think not, but that may be a good way to tell just how committed some of the climate change zealots really are to eliminating our T-bone steaks. I nominate Gretta Thornburg to head up the first stem cell steak test group. We’ll serve stem-cell steaks (well done) with humus on mint leaves and cucumber water. For entertainment, we can have Joe and Cornpop sing Camptown Races.

Okay, I can carry my depravity only so far. Thank you for letting me vent.

 



Fried…A word of Reverence

A Work of Art

This latest newsletter from www.rickdestefanis.com comes to you with a subject that is of almost religious significance in the South. And before I go further, fair warning and a disclaimer: You may want to avert your eyes if you aren’t from the South, and shield your device’s screen from children and easily offended individiuals such as snowflakes. Yes, you’re about to read words of near obscene description. This article may include such offensive language as bacon, dipped in egg, or rolled in corn meal.

Yes, we here in the South tend to put a number of things in that quasi–near religious catagory, including college football, NASCAR, deer hunting, and well maybe a few others, but one of them for sure is fried food. If you’re a vegan, or from California or one of those other third-world states, you may wish to go now, but we have many converts, perhaps even your next door neighbors, who have seen the light and realized it’s the one on the electonic thermometer telling them the grease has reached that perfect 350 degree temperature.

Fried is a word spoken with reverence in hallowed kitchens from Wilmington to Waco and everywhere in between. Fried is a word that emotes culinary dreams of near orgasmic delight. We can begin with the simple and the obvious: fried chicken, French fries, fried eggs, but like Forrest Gump’s army buddy, Bubba, when he described the ways to fix shrimp, a near endless litany of other fried foods can be named: fried okra, fried green tomatoes, fried catfish, fried oysters, fried venison chops, fried pork chops, fried bacon, fried sausage, country fried steak, fried corn, fried egg-plant, fried….I think you get the idea. 

The problem with frying is that it is as much art as it is science. Which is to say, don’t go buy your fried chicken just anywhere and expect it to be good. If it’s from any of the major fast food chains it’ll be greasy and tasteless. The best way to get top-notch fried food is to find you a good fry-cook and marry her. Anyway, I’ll leave you with a quote from one of the best fry-cooks I’ve ever known, my old pappy-in-law: “A good fry-cook can make a huntin’ boot taste good, but fast food restaurants have ruined the art.”  

The latest from the writing world is that Valley of the Purple Hearts broke a thousand reviews on Amazon, and I finished the first draft of Ghost II–Specter of Betrayal. I am working steadily in hopes of getting it out by late Spring. There are a couple of knee replacements coming that may slow me up a bit, but soon as my pit crew at Campbell’s Clinic in Memphis get my new tires installed, I’ll be back in the race. I hope all my readers had a good Christmas, and I wish you all a happy and prosperous New Year. 

Award-Winning Novel Valley of The Purple Hearts

A Newsletter Update From Rick DeStefanis

If you received this email letter, it’s because you signed up on my website. Or it could be just because I love you and added you myself. Anyway, as always, you can simply unsubscribe below if you no longer wish to receive my newsletter.

I’ve been MIA (missing in action) for quite some time and apologies are probably warranted. Consider them offered. My goal is to do better in the future while continuing to avoid flooding your inbox with unnecessary emails. Right now, I want to update you on the last year or two and my most recent books for those who may have missed their publication.

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The Ghost, Rumors from the Highlands of Vietnam

In 2022 I wrote and published the seventh book in my Vietnam War Series. Titled The Ghost, Rumors from the Highlands of Vietnam, it is more of an adventure/war story than my past works. With a current Amazon rating of 4.5 out of 5 stars it has been well received. You can read more about it on Amazon at  https://www.amazon.com/Ghost-Rumors-Central-Highlands-Vietnam-ebook/dp/B0BBDF4YZS.

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The Road to Yellowstone

In 2023 I changed the Rawlins Trilogy to the Rawlins Saga and published a fourth book in the series titled, Rawlins, The Road to Yellowstone. And, as an aside and in answer to a reviewer who mentioned similarities of Book #1 of the Rawlins Saga (No Longer Young) to the Yellowstone 1883 television series: My works were written and published well before the TV series. The similarities, however, are uncanny. I’d go on strike too if my television series was so well copi…excuse me, I mean written. You can read more about Book #4 The Road to Yellowstone at: https://www.amazon.com/Rawlins-Road-Yellowstone-Saga-Book-ebook/dp/B0C5W9HVX1.

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Coming Next Spring 2024

Specter of Betrayal

Book #2 of The Ghost

Meanwhile, back at the ranch, I’m working on a sequel to The Ghost, Rumors from the Central Highlands. This is Book Two and titled for now as Specter of Betrayal. The sub-title is yet to be determined and may be announced only when the book comes out in the spring of 2024. However, the cover image will not change, and here it is.

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If you’ve read any of my books, liked them, and haven’t written a review on Amazon or Goodreads, I would be especially appreciative if you did. It doesn’t have to be War and Peace, but a few lines on why you liked it would help both me and other readers. Each book review on each book that you read builds readers’ confidence in how they spend their hard-earned money.

I’ll try to act with more diligence and send another update next month. Thanks for reading my stories, and please remember our military veterans. They’ve earned a special recognition that we should award them all. And to my fellow paratroopers, “AIRBORNE, ALL THE WAY!